Because I’m pole-obsessed, I’ve been: i) reading pole blogs, which have also led me to other dance-related blogs, including adultbeginner, which is hilarious, inspiring (despite starting ballet at the age of 32, she has managed to go en pointe!!), and has reawakened the unfulfilled ballerina in me (more on that some other post), ii) yearning to perform, perhaps in my school’s next showcase. And I’d like to have a stronger core to progress more in my moves, exercise more to gain overall strength (recognising that I can’t pole every day because my body needs a day of rest between each day of ‘resistance’ work), and I’d like to be more flexible and to achieve my splits… all of which ballet can help accomplish.

Pole has changed my body shape – I definitely have more of an inverted triangle shape now. Previously, I had fairly narrow, sloping shoulders, and no real waist… so I had a somewhat cyclindrical / rectangular body shape (ie. basically shapeless). Now, my shoulders are broader, sharper, my upper back muscles have developed, by extension, emphasising the relative narrowness of my waist / lower-back. True, my shape is more masculine than feminine – people at work have commented: ‘wow, your shoulders are quite developed – you work out a lot huh’ – but I’m reasonably happy with my shape, because it’s the result of strength, and the result of my secret ‘superhero’ alter-ego gravity-defying self. My little secret and inner light that gives me a bounce in my step – I know something that others do not. By day I’m a boring banker, in my spare time, I can do stuff that the average person on the street can’t.

Nonetheless, I don’t want to bulk up too much. As it is, the Boy often teases me and says I have the physique of an All Black (‘you look like Jonah Lomu’), Rafael Nadal or a cage-fighter. Any bulky muscles I develop will push my fats further out, making me look chunkier, unless I lose a lot of fat, which isn’t going to happen because I don’t want to diet or change my food habits (I love my fatty Gold Mine roast duck, thank you very much). So the only way to gain strength and remain lean-looking is to stretch stretch stretch and elongate my muscles. This is what ballet excels at – creating long, lean, elongated muscles and a beautiful dancer’s body.

So, in summary, I want to try out adult ballet classes – to nurture my inner ballerina, to develop a beautiful dancer’s body, long graceful lines in my dance, achieve my splits etc. But it’s really difficult to find adult ballet classes at a time that works for me. Bummer. So I’m spending a lot of time researching and daydreaming.

The Boy is exasperated that I’m trying to pack even more stuff into my life. But I’ve promised him that I won’t be giving up more time. I’ll just be substituting my belly dance class time for ballet class time. My quota of dance forms is only two at any one time. The way I’ve substituted my French classes this Autumn term for driving lessons instead. So little time, so much to do. And so I continue to make my little trade-offs.