My reflection is that the human condition is a very lonely one. We all make our own mistakes, walk our own narrow paths, based on our own individual, specific and unique experiences. From a macro level, there are repeated patterns of mistakes but for each individual, their experience is unique based on their own values, history and experiences. And while we can to learn from others – through reading, well-intentioned advice etc – these are but pale substitutes, because it doesn’t account for the individual experience – the difference between actual objective truth and reality vs. perceived or experienced truth and reality, which are shaped by one’s history, memories, values… and which largely happen in the mind.

Because nothing is perfect and we have no crystal ball, ex ante (before the fact), we make our decisions based on what we think we need and want vs. what we think we can live without, to create the “best fit” given circumstances. The decision is made based on our own experiences, beliefs, and our own truths. Then ex post (after the fact), when we live the consequences of our earlier decision, we may discover that we were wrong in our a priori estimations. Or perhaps the simple fact is that we grow and evolve as individuals, and even if we were right in our original ‘stacked ranked preferences’ (so to speak), over time, our needs and wants – what we must have vs. can live without – changes. And our evolution is based on our own daily experiences, interactions – which are again – both the actual objective truth and reality vs. our perceived or experienced truth or reality. So even if two people experience the exact same set of objective events over time (e.g. if they spend all their time together), their perceptions of their same experiences may differ without ongoing communication, discussion, to bridge the gap. Relationships need that ongoing investment and effort to at least survive, much less to thrive.

But I digress slightly, because my original reflection was that we are all doomed to make our own unique mistakes for the above reasons – and that even the most well-intentioned of third parties or advisors cannot fully empathise with, so they should advise with caution, and certainly not interfere, except in very specific circumstances and in narrow ways (eg enrolling a drug addict into rehab). And so each of us “chooses our own adventure” so to speak, in terms of our decisions… which may transpire to be mistakes, or bring great rewards. Because everything in life carries risk, which encompasses both threats and opportunities. And as I said to the boys (Big-Boy-O and Baby-F) recently, evaluating risks, and making judgement calls and decisions, are very important to outcomes in life. I didn’t interpret the risk concept expansively with the boys, but it really can apply for literally everything in life – every decision we make and every action we take.