Rough notes below. To fill out / supplement over time.

The Bad

This has been quite possibly (most probably) the worst year of my life so far. The other nearest contender I think is probably a distant second.

• Separation / divorce – even though it was an active choice, it’s still scary and difficult
• Cost cuts, and savage politics at work – there have been 3-4 rounds of cuts now, since the end of last year
• Fear, uncertainty – the prolonged fear and uncertainty I have lived with has been truly horrific at times. This year has felt so so long. From more frequent panic attacks at the beginning of the year… to periods of numb terror (I always think the word “tharn” from “Watership Down”, although I’ve never read the book). I’ve been so absent minded and foggy at times… I wasn’t sure if it was “just” depression, or early indicators of early onset dementia. I feel so incredibly fragile and brittle sometimes, like I could shatter at any moment. But I have to keep myself looking strong for my boys. Even though, I crack from time to time.

The Good

• I reconnected with old friends, maybe made some new ones. Friendships and non-romantic relationships often get neglected when one is in a romantic relationship or married. Or maybe it was just me, and / or our format of intense family-centric life.
• Started doing things for me again, and reclaiming my identity, encouraged by old friends and new.
• Added two new countries (Austria and Slovakia)
• Went from never having touched a barbell, to deadlifting my entire body weight (~50kg)

The Ugly

• Decided to sign up to study for a professional qualification. I tried doing one before and completely failed – not having opened the textbooks until a few weeks before the exam. And then I’ve been debating this topic again the last couple of years. Since my career is going nowhere fast, I figured ‘why not’? I need to change something up. And at least if I lose my job (I hope I don’t!), I have something to fall back on, or to work on while I find a new job.

Here’s to a much better 2024! Surely it can only get better, from a low base??!!