A busy and slightly tiring day today.

Visited the dentist, one with with “a special interest in periodontics”, to check on my localised gum disease problem. He had a quick look and asked me: “Do you grind your teeth at night?’ I was surprised that he could tell. And he said my pattern of vertical bone loss is very typical of teeth grinders – which explains a lot. Because I’ve never been a big consumer of desserts and sweet stuff. He said I needed periodontal surgery – a periodontal bone graft to help regenerate my bone – which is just what every 41-year old with 2 kids going through a divorce and potentially at risk of a job loss, wants to hear. I’ve been always particularly stressed about my teeth and gums (in the last 10-15 years), so I found the whole situation quite emotional and stressful.

The kids came back from France today, so we all four of us had a nice lunch at AJ’s local sushi, before the kids came back home with me. It was very nice to see the kids again, and have them back with me. They were also nicer and more loving after this interlude.

We then played a game of ‘Selfish: Star Wars edition’, which Big Boy O got for his birthday. It started off fun enough, even though I thought the rules and game play seemed rather convoluted. So the first game was, to me, very much really about a walkthrough of the game play, and understanding the mechanics. But it ended up with both boys crying, and Baby F hiding under his blanket in a huff. First, Big Boy O cried because Baby F was about to win – he was CONVINCED I had teamed up with Baby F because I attacked him 3x, and Baby F not a single time. I said I didn’t team up with Baby F. I just thought that Big Boy O was the bigger threat, and besides, the game was for 8+ anyway, and I had to explain things to Baby F the whole way through, and I didn’t quite realise that Baby F was about to win. But after thinking hard, and reading the rules in detail, Big Boy O decided to make a move, and when it came to Baby F’s turn, based on the luck of the draw (although Big Boy O had swapped a couple of cards in the stack, because he “accidentally” opened the cards), Baby F lost. So as soon as he lost, Baby F got up and ran onto his bed and hid under the blanket and cried. And I tried to figure out why he was crying – because he felt it was unfair, because he was upset by the twist of fate, because felt Big Boy O cheated, or just because he lost – and he refused to talk to me. It took a fair amount of threats (including the removal of tomorrow’s climbing session), and cajoling before he eventually agreed to speak to me and answer a few other questions I had.

After that drama was over, it was time for me to cook dinner, and Big Boy O kept pestering me to let him help me, because he wanted to learn to cook. After I told him and Baby F off for being inconsiderate on my birthday, Big Boy O made the point that he can’t cook breakfast or anything for me, because he doesn’t know how to cook. I took his point, so when he asked to help me cook, I thought it was a fair ask.

Now that I’m dealing with these 2 boys on my own, and they are getting older, I am expecting them to step up. For example, by putting their plates away after their dinner. Which is teeny tiny in the grand scheme of things – and really rather shocking that they hadn’t done before. So it’s good to instil some ground rules, and set the bar – clearly not high in this case, but at least to put it in place. Otherwise they will grow up completely entitled and inconsiderate. So Big Boy O asking to learn how to cook, presumably so he can cook for me on special occasions, was a really lovely thought, and a step in the right direction I thought.

So I let him “help” me cook. It was net good… I think he liked the experience. But honestly, it was more work for me – I was really stressed about making sure he was doing things right, not at risk of getting injured or messing up, making sure I gave him space and didn’t accidentally bump into him when we were near the hob together.

By the end of the day, I was drained – how can one day have so many parts / ‘acts’ to it? Watched some ‘Gossip Girl’ to unwind.